A Plant Addict's Secrets

We all have them. Or maybe you're in denial or are hiding the fact from yourself or your loved ones. Perhaps you have them scattered around the garden so the full impact of the collection is disguised. We can't do what the fabri-holics do and hide them under the bed, behind the seldom worn evening gowns or in undisclosed self storage units. They do need light, fertilizer and water. I am, of course, talking about your Plant Penitentiary. You know, the collection of 4" to 5 gallon plants purchased with good intention. The objective being to return from the nursery (where you use the special credit card, the one whose statement gets sent to your sister) and plant the specimens immediately. But somehow your intentions are thwarted.

Signs of the disorder are varied but can go something like this:

1. You stop at the nursery for something legit, swearing to yourself that you WILL NOT BUY any plants. 
2. The plant specimen you encounter is a) unusual or, b) reminds you of your childhood or just about anything or c) is cheap and you must have it. It speaks to you and you speak back. You are in good company. No one thinks you are crazy...
3. You bring it home with intent to plant immediately.
4. You get distracted by slugs in the lettuce or cats in the planting beds. Or a phone call or your Blog.
5. It gets late. Your other half will be home any second!
6. You panic and place the newcomer with the others, because your other (better?) half won't notice a 19th black plastic nursery pot (this is a mild form of the addictive disorder) added to the collection. And your better half, as predicted, doesn't notice.

As time goes on you start playing games with yourself: If I plant two inmates from the Plant Penitentiary, I can bring home one more. If I plant five inmates I can buy some glazed pottery to disguise some of the others in!" This is perfectly logical. A small Abies koreana can live in a 3 gallon glazed pot for years!

Recovery from this disorder is highly dependent on the gardener's personality type. It can be tough. Having to choose between groceries and plants may not be a strong enough motivator. I can only speak for myself. Being an otherwise logical, neat and highly organized person, it came to me that actually planting the inmates somewhere, anywhere, was more pleasing & soothing than having the inmates scattered across our 4/10ths of an acre. I prefer my nursery pots scrubbed and stacked (yea, I know, excessive). My husband was not an external pressure in this, as he is happy if I am happy, and if having a Plant Penitentiary makes me happy, he'll never say a word! So I had to apply some strong internal pressure to reduce my inmate load.

Late this spring I planted out 15 or so gallon pots in a shady area. This, or course, allowed me to purchase a lovely selection of ferns (they fell into the cheap/unique category) to go with my newly released inmates. The space vacated by the gallon pots was quickly filled with seeding trays where all sorts of things were started. The internal pressure to deal with baby plants is huge as they will become leggy or worse if not dealt with in a timely fashion. My personal Plant Penitentiary is now down to about 10 pots of various sizes plus what's in the greenhouse. However, anything in the green house is considered to be part of the Horticultural Hilton. Does anyone need some oregano??